Growing up as a child, all I was trained to do emotionally was how to love God especially through church school and the catechism classes. This was great! My parents and elders also kept teaching and encouraging us to love other people. We were taught that we love others by constantly visiting them, inviting them over for a meal at home and also greeting them whenever we meet.

In addition, throughout school, all we were taught was to love God, our classmates, teachers and parents and the same goes on to even University. When we get to our employment or deployment places, we are still taught, motivated and encouraged to still love others. There seems to be no one teaching us how to love ourselves!

It gets worse on the woman’s side whereby as soon as you get into marriage, all you are told is to learn to love your husband. Even while still dating, you find women spending most of the period trying to figure out how to love these men…. Mann!!

This has led me to the question I have nowadays, “Who will teach us how to love ourselves?”

Well, we all have different opinions on this issue. I for one, believe that as much we are taught to love others, we need to first learn to love ourselves. We need to learn to celebrate what God is doing in our lives and stop waiting on being loved by other people. Obviously loving God is fundamental and a must.

I honestly believe that teaching and encouraging us to only love others has left many people empty and expecting lots of love from other people. Many people are so drowned in how well they can love others that they forget themselves. This has also left many people victims of love gaps that is you find that some people are always expecting others to love them to their best yet this leads to tragic heartbreaks in cases where they have failed to be loved according to their standards.

Seven years ago, I was a victim to the above. I always got heart broken whenever people failed to love me to my expectation. It was a trying moment for me as I was forced into solitude sometimes. This is something I do not wish anyone to go through.

However, I thank God for changing my mindset. I am stronger nowadays. Very strong! I know that only God can love me best. This healing has mainly been through the various people I have interacted with, sermons I have listened to and literature I have read. I have grown to learn that the best gift i can give myself is to love myself with a mindset that it is a way of being grateful to God given that I was created in His image

Overtime, I have learnt that when we understand how much God loves us, loving ourselves will become easy and we shall not need to rely on other people to love us. I have learnt to celebrate the great moments that God has enabled me to witness.

You have to get a revelation of God’s love for you, learn to love yourseld then pass on the love to others. You just cannot give what you don’t have!!

Finally, I believe that we need to be taught more on how to experience God’s love and also how to be grateful to God for creating us uniquely. We need to learn to celebrate every milestone God allows us to witness. This therefore inspired the 30 Days Of Celebrating Justine Love, a series that has been running on my Face book page.

Learn to love God and yourself. Stop expecting others to love you better. How you view yourself sets a standard for how others will view you.

It all starts with you as an individual!!

©Words From The Pot


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