I was never the one⚠️

#Courage

I was a child
Still in school
Highschool to be specific
I met you and you warmly welcomed me
After greeting you, I thought to myself
This is a beautiful light lad!!!

Days passed and months elapsed
Our friendship grew more close
You were the person I literally talked to on a daily
Even when I changed my studying environment
You still hang in there with me
You stayed and always called on my phone to find out how I was doing
You actually made it your priority that I access reading material as I homeschooled myself
You were the right friend I needed, one who supported my studies
Thanks to God, I did pass highly in that I still thank God that I got those results out of homeschooling.

It was towards the end of that year when you opened up to me about your innermost thoughts
You told me how you loved me and would want to make me your wife😲
I was shocked, I was scared
This was mainly because I had never seen myself get closer to you in such a manner
I there and then agreed in my heart that I didn’t love you like you wished

I organised my words the following day just to specifically let you know where my heart was
But you refused the bad news..
You convinced me to try it out, all in hopes of my heart changing in favor of you
I also stubbornly bought the idea and I vowed never to commit to anything in regards to you

Many times I told you , I didn’t love you but you chose to live in denial
Even when you asked me to meet your family, I refused
The beautiful stories about someone I liked that you read in my journal could not help communicate to you about the fact that I didn’t love you
Many days I refused to hold your hands in public
Nor even attend functions with you
But you stuck through as though the gods had told you I was the one
No,I wasn’t…
atleast that’s what my heart knew

You even made it worse when you started asking for sex
At that age, sex was a nightmare for me Especially when being asked by a human who purpots to be godly and serving as a youth leader
When I refused to share my body with you
You then collaborated with the enemy to try and rape me
A very dubious deal you had signed up for
Thankfully God was on my side…
I can never forget that scary night
This was my turning point!

I woke up the following day and all I was reminded of was the truth that I had never loved you
Not even did I have an inch of any feeling for you
My heart refused to see you beyond being a normal friend
My body just never connected with you
My eyes couldn’t stand seeing you tell lies about who I was to your cell mates
We were just never meant to be but you refused to allow that
I also remained stubborn and continued to confuse you,
This was where I got it wrong!
In playing that game, i did not know I was playing with the devil
You were the first and will always be the last person I hanged with even when I didn’t not love you
You were the only person I played games with ever in my life
You were also the last person that tried to disrespect me

120512
3 days before my 20th birthday
I picked myself up
Met with you at Antonio’s Grill Restaurant in kampalA
It was then that I told it to you in your face that I did not love you and It was over!
I was DONE🙅
Done playing the breaking character.
I asked you to let me go and never look for me
You tried to plead but I couldn’t change my mind
I had made up my mind to stop playing games with you
I had awoken to who I am and it did not include confusing people…
I wanted you to go, to go so far away
so that I can start my life afresh
I was so courageous enough to make that bold move by God’s grace.

God wanted the best for me and I am glad I let you go so that I could cooperate with what He was building through me

Ever since then, It took me 7 years without seeing you…
I still pray that you find your chosen one.

I was never the one!!!

To you my audience, if you ever get the revelation of you being in a messed up situation, I pray you find the courage to step out of it.


I am the Lioness Arising!
©Words from the Pot

Find me at Twitter and Facebook ❤️❤️

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22 Comments Add yours

  1. What a rollercoaster😭😭😭
    Sjoe, I’m glad you stuck to your guns. But why was he so persistent and refusing to listen, wow

    Liked by 1 person

    1. justynlove says:

      I don’t know… Yes, I had to stick to my heart… I never want to lie to myself…

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow. Such an experience. Glad you had that epiphany and that changed the story. And for the courage to face the truth too. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. justynlove says:

      The courage, I would say it’s God. Because it was too comfortable a situation for me to stay . But , God intervened with many set ups

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hmm. Yes, He indeed enables us. 🙌❤

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Wow. This was deep and emotional. When you know, you know. He was never meant to be anything to you. Happy you removed yourself from this toxic equation

    Liked by 1 person

    1. justynlove says:

      It’s a testimony I hold. I needed to let him go so he could find the best love for him. I couldn’t do that for him

      Like

  4. Sadly some let this game go on and on till they reach the point of no return… marriage and/or having a child together. Glad you came to that realisation early enough

    Liked by 1 person

    1. justynlove says:

      Bro, I just thank God… If the attempted rape scenario had not happened, I don’t know

      Like

  5. Linda Stella says:

    Better never late. Kudos to you for bravely standing your ground

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Bolaji Gelax says:

    This was such a rollercoaster 🤦🏻‍♀️

    I’m happy you got out, my love. To think he even tried… I can’t deal abeg!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. justynlove says:

      Oh yes… I am glad I got out too

      Thanks for reading dear

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Wonani says:

    Wow. So heavy.
    So happy you listened to yourself because eish.
    I hope others find the strength to leave when it’s time to.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. justynlove says:

      Yes, I hope they jump ship

      Thanks for reading

      Liked by 1 person

    1. justynlove says:

      I thought so too

      Liked by 1 person

  8. There is manyira and then there is this. I am so glad God showed up in the nick of time. May you find your one and be the one!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. justynlove says:

      Amen. Thanks for the prayer sister

      Like

    2. justynlove says:

      Indeed God showed up

      Like

  9. Winnie Malinga says:

    There is a book in you screaming to be released by you dear child. People thrive on the testimonies and victories from life experiences like these.

    Like

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