As we continue with Part 2 of the story about Red flags (which I admit was delayed because of the indecision in my world on what to include and not to,) please read part 1 here.
Like I stated earlier, red flags are warnings of danger and today I share the final batch, at least for this tale. I personally encountered these but still ignored them in either the name of decision, love or common good which I later discovered was not the best direction for my life.
And below are the warnings I paid a deaf ear and gave a blind eye to;
First and foremost, there was this beautiful gentleman I was in a relationship with but from day 1, he had never mentioned anything to do with marrying me. I remember when he was asking me out, he only and only asked if I could be his girlfriend. Each time I brought up the issue of marriage and asked if he had intentions of marrying me, all I was always told was that I was still being evaluated to see whether I would be the right woman to be married. Poor me who was in love, I hang in there and sometimes played wife duties yet I was still holding girlfriend status with my hopes of being married to him someday very high. but this never happened…at least not even in my slightest reality. I was indeed the girlfriend; I was never the woman he wanted to have as wife.
Secondly, there was this other relationship where I was hidden for all its entirety. This was one of the interesting best fit guys I have dated for real. All things pertaining what a typical love relationship is like were perfect except the bit of keeping it a secret to people physically. He ensured that we were never seen in public together but was very comfortable with being displayed on my WhatsApp status. His reason for acting this weird (especially in my world where PDA is a no brainer) was mob legit that is; apparently he did not want to be asked many questions by his kinsmen who would have likely been part of the public. I tried to push for public engagements but they all ended in vain. I vividly remember one day when I craved for Café Javas chicken and all I was told was to go visit him at his place and have him order in… Jeez!!! I was in utter because I thought the dude would for once take me out but no, he refused to. This scenario found me at a time where we were being advised to be considerate and flexible when relating with humans in one of our leadership meets.
So with such a human on my table, I decided to overlook this flag and simply convinced myself that he was one of the humans I was meant to understand and live with…Life moved on but our relationship did not last… There was a strong reason as to why he never wanted us to be seen in public, a reason I later found out and it was not good for my health so I ran for life.
In addition to the above, there was also this handsome child of God who showed up in my world all lovingly professing how he wanted to marry me at a later stage but went ahead to highlight the fact that he wanted to be sexually active with me. He stated how he never minded breaking the law with me. To me this was living a double standard life because the Christian faith discourages fornication as it is sin that defiles the temple of God. When he informed me about his interesting suggestion, I obviously said no but continued to be his imaginary girlfriend (because in my heart, I knew I would not handle a person who runs his life on double standards) We moved on as he was in the process of negotiating with me to share part of my body …till one fateful day when he attempted to rape me… Jeez I fled as first as I could. I could not believe that men of God would also fall to such evil ideas and just like that for almost a year, I dreaded “church boys” … They just seem to enjoy living a double standard lifestyle that does not rub well with me.
Finally, the other key red flag I encountered and ignored is the one where I was always guilt tripped and gas lighted. The then darling of mine always made statements like “I am on market and many girls like me, so you need to up your game” or always told me how I did not know how to keep a man on several accounts each time we disagreed on a principle. His definition of keeping a man was meeting his sexual needs at all times. This was a red flag mainly because we had earlier agreed to stay pure but how this creeped in, I could not tell. On various occasions till today, I had/have been told how I do not know how to keep a man mainly because I would/have failed to cater to their sexual needs without legal commitment. In some would be relationships, I managed to sense the flag and flee but in got trapped in this very one. I mainly stayed because somehow my darling convinced me about him believing that he could try to abstain with me. I also stayed in it because he had promised that he was ready to marry me off… (Who was I to run away from such potential fertile ground). Time flew so fast till one day while we were conversing and he asked if he could go have sex with other girls but keep me as the one (which one I do not know till forever). I obviously said no to the idea but sadly a few months later, I was dumped and left alone to gather my pieces. I was told of how fake I am to think that abstinence is the way to go… He even listed for me all my non abstaining friends who were now married off already… Anyways that journey ended and I learned my lessons.
Moving on, I have purposed to strongly obey God each time He reveals a red flag. I choose to talk about any warning I sense with the other person and when we fail to find the right direction to take, I jump ship or flee like as if I have seen my late father’s ghost.🏃🏃🏃
To you dear reader, thanks for sticking through with all the stories I shared in March, I hope you learned one or two things or you could relate with some scenarios shared.
Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section.
I love you🤗🤗🤗
My March stock taking is coming up!💃💃💃
I am The Lioness Arising!
©Words from the Pot