Day 20: I chose to live -1

#Week5 #Storytelling #Live

Welcome to Week 5 in the WinterABC 2021 challenge and this week we are simply telling stories👏👏👏

Today as we draw near to the close of the 2021 blogging challenge, I choose to share a personal story that has 3 parts hoping you learn one or two lessons from it and also encourage someone out there. Therefore let us delve into Part 1 today;

I woke up one Monday morning and I was tired, I was tired of everything that was happening around and to me.

This all happened in the 2000s while I was at high school. All my life I have been a loved child and indeed the blessing followed me through to high school. I was immensely loved by the school leadership. I was that typical favored child who always ate teachers’ food, had a free gate pass and had my snack bag always full. Even on days when I would be busy in class with assignments, food would be kept for me in a food flask to eat later.
The school leadership also made sure I was fine, to the extent that I had people watching over what I did every now and then. I was basically that princess in school.

It was this special treatment that sent most students into assumptions of me being a mistress to one of the leaders who had had a track record of dating female students. I literally became the headline of most gossips and I could feel like there was no one who didn’t have their image about me tainted. I couldn’t believe that the wrong information was circulating about me. Even my then boyfriend betrayed me by confronting me on grounds of having had sex with the said leader and it also did not end well for me (a story for another day).

The last nail in the coffin was hit when a new student (2 weeks old) approached me and asked me whether I was the said leader’s mistress and I was HIV/AIDs positive. She went ahead to tell me that she had heard that in one of the discussions in their dormitory.
She told me all that while I was heading for ‘evening prep’ time and you don’t want to know what happened to me. I literally went , sat at my desk and cried myself to sleep. I remember my prep master asking me why I was sleeping and I told him that I was having a headache. He let me go.

Sadly, the hurt did not end there, the following weeks were terribble call it hell for me as I would bump into clicks discussing the same about me be it in class or in dormitories. My heart got wrecked, I was hurt to the born to an extent that I slid into a depression. I lost appetite for food, failed to read my books, I would attend lessons absent minded and even failed my midterm examinations terribly.
I could not understand the reason as to why people would think and speak evil about me. After failing my midterm examinations, it was then that I started having thoughts of leaving the school regardless of the fact that I was on a scholarship. I could not stand myself failing academically and at the same time living miserable in an environment.

It was then that I woke up one Monday morning tired and had decided to walk out of school and life too. I never told anyone about my plans because I knew they would convince me out of it. My heart was tired, shuttered to bones and all I wanted was to leave plannet earth. My school was near a beach to which I knew I would go and end my life from.
I therefore walked out of the school gate at 7:00am and while I was standing along the road waiting for the next taxi to take me to the beach; another thought came to mind and I asked myself what would have happened to my mother in the event that I had taken my own life. I there and then answered myself that she would be looked at as a failure and therefore cancelled my plans of going to the beach. I chose to live.🥰 To live and see my mother smile and honored for having me!

Part 2 will be loaded next on Day 21. Watch out as we continue to choose to live.

Also remember to check out the Afrobloggers website and follow them on Twitter for all things creative.

I love you


I am the Lioness Arising
©Words from the Pot

I can also be found on Twitter , Instagram and Facebook❤️❤️❤️

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10 Comments Add yours

  1. tcndangana says:

    I’m glad that you chose to live. Thank you for sharing your story.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. justynlove says:

      You’re welcome.
      Thanks for reading 👏👏👏

      Like

  2. conniedia says:

    Rumours can be so vicious …. Glad you survived it all.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. justynlove says:

      That was one of my toughest moments in life… I had to make tough decisions even as a teen

      Like

  3. Lebogang Shazzygal Malatji says:

    A very sad story
    Assumptions and rumors can kill one’s reputation. It’s really sad. Sometimes it’s even hard to clear your name because people already have their conclusions about you.
    Glad you didn’t take your life😭😭..we wouldn’t be knowing this wonderful and purposeful soul. Thank God for your mother.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. justynlove says:

      Yes, sometimes it’s hard to clear your name. For my cass, life did it for me. Over the years people have been monitoring my life and they were shocked. Some later showed up in my life and confessed

      Like

      1. Lebogang Shazzygal Malatji says:

        I can imagine
        I admire your strength, my Queen. I don’t know how I would have dealt with the situation. It could have broken me

        Liked by 1 person

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