Week 1: I was never a home girl

#WinterABC2022 #Week1 #Storiesofhome

Every June, the Afrobloggers community organizes the WinterABC storytelling festival and below is my entry for Week one under the theme of Stories of home

I was never a home girl!

Growing up, I was the beloved child to my parents and was highly favored especially before my dad. He loved me so much that in return, I grew up with so much freedom, confidence, and love. Growing up around so much love also made it easy for me to become a very obedient child because I trusted that everything was meant for my good. Whatever principle my parents, church, and school authorities put in place, I worked so hard to follow through bearing in mind that they love me and wish me the best. This also partly explains why I am a rule keeper.

In January 2004, it was my first term of school. I was in Primary seven (Uganda’s education system) when my dad suddenly informed me that I was to go and stay with another family. At first, I thought I was in dreamland but dad kept on jazzing me about how it was important for me to go and help a daughter of his friend academically by reading and revising books with her. I was meant to help her understand what was taught at school so that she too performs better in assessments. Her home was meant to become my new home for that year… Deciding to change homes at age 11 scared me so much but I had to go; either way, I had to obey what my dad was asking me to do. To cut the long story short, I was able to meet my dad’s friend and thereafter joined his family where I met the new friend and surprisingly she was my school and classmate.

First and foremost, my new home was in a new environment that was economically better than where I was coming from at that time. It was in the Bugolobi flats and this meant that I had a lot of learning and unlearning to do to level up to the new standards of living. Life became another subject in addition to the school subjects. I did not know what it meant to watch Power Rangers every Wednesday and eat ice cream every Saturday. I had to also learn how to live with a house manager who does the house chores on behalf of the family Everything was so new to me including the warm love and care I received from both my new friend let’s call her Racheal(not her real name) and family. I loved every day I spent there and before I knew it, I had jelled into the family so well that we became sisters with Racheal. One thing that made this easier was the fact that we shared a language, just like my biological family they too are Bakiga from Kabale and this made communication easy.

Months passed and at the end of the academic year, we sat for our Primary Leaving Examinations where both Racheal and I excelled highly with flying colors. Our parents were so happy and they gave us lots of gifts as a way to congratulate us and send us off to secondary education level.

In 2005, I had to join secondary school but this seemed impossible because there was a financial crisis at home. Life became crazy but thanks to God I was able to get a bursary from one generous school director who was attracted by my excellent results from the previous education level. He believed I would shine and also make his school shine academically. In all this mix, little did I know that God had another familiar plan for me.. Guess what? The director of my school asked my parents to let me go live with his family and revise books with his daughter. I was going to be a mini tutor to his daughter. At first, this did not go well with me mehhhhnnnn, but my dad still encouraged me to go. I was pissed but later remembered that it was for my good and besides, I always loved helping other people perform better… I stayed with this other family for five years and it was one heavenly experience.

I thank God for all these new families He allowed me to become a child in. However, as much as I enjoyed the amazing life in these homes, I missed out on bonding with my biological family that is mum, dad, and siblings.

A once daddy’s girl had to grow up and become an independent woman. And in the long run, I ended up loving being alone something I am trying to deal with till today. I loved my company so much that even at University I chose to stay with my friends in their places of aboard. I always avoided being at home cause I felt alien. I always thought I was not that much important to them given that they had found it easy to send me to other families in my childhood. It was mostly me who was sent to go keep my uncle’s home when he is away, from childhood, I was taught how to live alone in a world full of people. This has its pros and cons and shall be discussed later…

Generally, I was never a home girl…. I would only show up to check on my mum and burst. Being at home was never a priority to me.